"The Internet is so big, so powerful and so pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life."
~Andrew Brown~
December, 1999. Our first computer. I could hear an angelic choir rejoice as the PC tower emerged from the Gateway box. Disabled with a rare neurological disorder, Internet Explorer became my Starship Enterprise. With warp speed, my keyboard transported me out of disability's isolation into an uncharted universe of the living.
Hovering in cyberspace was a small support community of individuals also diagnosed with SPS. Bonding with this obscure SPS colony, I shared experiences, laughter, tears, and encouragement with others.
As the years passed, Internet Explorer navigated several others to our close-knit group. The majority fit right in, expanding our community with further experiences, understanding, and friendship. Then the 'Cling-Ons' started to infiltrate...self-absorbed, angry, victimized, needy attention-seekers. Their forum volume of continual problem finding, with dismissal of solutions, darkened our once uplifting support group under a cloud of self-pitying rants of negativity.
Negativity created a quagmire of group depression and dissension. Struggling through the mucky rancor, I felt their negativity begin to ooze through my thoughts. For my emotional well-being, I took a hiatus from the group.
It was a jolt to realize how much I had limited myself through extensive support group interaction, my only social outlet. Addicted to daily logging in, I allowed the group's drama to consume my thoughts. I felt a personal responsibility to lift those drowning in the ooze of their own inflicted misery. I had stopped growing, stopped living.
During my leave, I dusted off my waylaid goals, finding unexpected success in some completed pursuits. Venturing out 'in spite of' my physical limitations, I rediscovered a social life, making friends and enjoying activities.
I rediscovered my original purpose for participating in a support group...to share relevant disability issues in a mutual outreach of friendship and hope. Back to a basic coping tool...balance. I log on once a day to read and respond. I do not own responsibility for those who choose to wallow in the muck of defeat, despair, or gloom at the expense of others or me. Encourage, not commiserate, is my support group motto.
My name is Debbie and I am a recovering support group addict.
"Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexations to the spirit..."
~Desiderata~
Copyright © 2009
