"Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch."
~David A.Schmaltz~
"Good Morning Vietnam!" Opening my eyes, I greet myself with the same irreverent enthusiasm of Robin William's DJ role in a controversial war zone. Living with disability is waking every day to a personal war...my life under siege by a relentless neurological disorder.
Through various avenues, I communicate with others with my diagnosis of Stiff Person Syndrome. Shuffling to the computer, I mentally inventory my physical status for the day as I read from others. As I read, I envision a medevac helicopter bringing in the wounded, me or my comrades? The MASH theme song, Suicide Is Painless appropriately plays in my imagination.
Though feared, death is easy. Living is hard. Finding my own purpose, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and strength for the day, I work on having reserves to share with another...irreverent DJ humor to give a smile...a word of hope?
I envision a Vietnam Marine, dusty, scared, searching, homesick. Crouched in the dirt, this weary young soldier chews on a pencil eraser as he struggles to fill the glare of blank white paper with an uplifting letter for those he loves.
Nostalgia for my 'pre' diagnostic days fills me with longing as I search for life's meaning in the chaos of my disability. Staring at my monitor, I struggle for truthful words to inspire those I care about. Life is hard, but still worth living.
"As long as you live, keep learning how to live." ~Seneca~
Copyright © 2009
