I watched Josey Wales the other night. From my SPS perspective, I vividly remember the date my normal life was violently destroyed by total Stiff Person assault. With diagnosis, I buried my former life in a daze of disbelief and grief, like Josey buried his slaughtered wife and son.
In a daily fight for some kind of life, I am an SPS outlaw. I can relate to being hunted down, ducking danger, and waging defensive counterattacks while continually planning survival strategies, yearning for my former peaceful normalcy.
With a satirical parallel to my life with SPS, some of Josey's quotations had significant lessons in coping as a chronic illness fugitive.
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Josey Wales: Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.
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Josey Wales: Dyin' ain't much of a livin', boy.
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Carpetbagger: Your young friend could use some help.
[holds up a bottle of patent medicine]
Carpetbagger: This is it... one dollar a bottle. It works wonders on wounds.
Josey Wales: Works wonders on just about everything, eh?
Carpetbagger: It can do most anything.
Josey Wales: [spits tobacco juice on the carpetbagger's coat] How is it with stains?
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Quote #1 - Attitude. "If you give up or lose your head you neither live nor win." I need to focus, think with my mind not my emotions, & stay determined because "that is just the way it is!" :)
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Quote #2 - Perspective. The only guarantee life equally gives everyone is an unknown day of death. Fate dealt me a bum hand, but I choose to stay in the game. (Bluff?) Life is still a gift. To live each day like I am dying "ain't much of a livin'."
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Quote #3 - Humor & 'carpetbaggers.' Humor is vital to my well-being. I have a dark sense of humor about SPS that leaves some scratching their heads. Laughter diffuses the negative SPS grip on my life.
Carpetbaggers--opportunists who have a 'miracle' cure, whatever it may be? Really? I went to one of these miracle docs & deliberately messed with him a little. He became very angry at being exposed. How well do your pricey wonder bottles work on BS stains?
If only SPS would make peace with me like Fletcher did with Josey--just ride off to Mexico and quit stalking me. Until then, don't lose my head or give up.
The other evening, a body-jerking spasm gripped me in an unexpected assault. I fell against the patio wall, dropping some groceries, my hiking pole, but avoiding a tangled fall in my butterfly bush.
Shaken, I managed to regroup, leaning against the entryway as I shuffled the few remaining steps to the front door. Mentally I heard an appreciative chuckle whisper "whupped 'em again, Debbie."
Spitting dry fear out of my mouth, I acknowledged with "reckon so."
Copyright © 2012
The following movie trailer gives a brief idea of Josey Wales. While Josey was motivated by revenge, I am motivated by living.
