“We are in the same tent as the clowns and the freaks-that's show business.”
~Edward E. Murrow
September was my fall tour, visiting all of my specialists in four weeks with a grand finale--my scheduled booking at the oncology clinic for my monthly infusion of IVIg. Complimentary concessions included crackers and juice to toast my yawner of a performance due to a double dose of pre-poke Benadryl.
Before my Benadryl rendition of Goodnight Sweetheart, I tried some impromptu stand up or "biz" talk with the other acts in the backstage waiting area. Several have been on the healthcare tour too long. Road weary, homesickness for the life left behind was visible in their tired expressionless eyes.
My SPS circus...a Looney Toons unrehearsed and unscripted saga. Stiff Person Syndrome, a rare diagnostic albino elephant fills the small tent while dancing monkeys of thyroid and type-one diabetes disrupt the animal entourage with their unpredictable antics of hypos, fatigue, and annoying the elephant.
I am the one-person star of this show, an unskilled trapeze artist swinging dangerously in the spotlight without a net as the ringmaster (the specialist of the moment) thrills onlookers with a booming voice revealing the mysteries of my lab work. All is well. I execute the transition with grace and feigned skill to applause.
Quickly I donn a clown suit to juggle symptoms and meds for my multiple diagnoses as I try to remain balanced on a unicycle of normalcy. Losing my rhythm, I fall to be drenched by the stalking midget of failure in continual pursuit with the dancing monkeys.
My fall tour was a success. All my labs were good with no mishaps in my performance even though unicycle balance is often compromised in daily practice. My ringmasters were very pleased with my overall performance.
In my daily juggling practice, I notice the addition of a couple of small batons (symptoms) not familiar to my routine. As my labs and follow-ups were good, there wasn't much concern. As I told my endocrinologist, I do not want another dancing monkey (underlying diagnosis) to sneak in while we are focused on the elephant. An ANA, antinuclear, antibody test was ordered and it came back positive.
Many healthy people will have a positive reading, but my immune system is not healthy. It will be weeks before my booking with a new "ologist" for further exploration of this development, so in the meantime--I will continue my daily unicycle practice avoiding the midget in pursuit, keeping the dancing monkeys at a distance, while calming the albino elephant with meds.
On with the show!!
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