"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." ~Will Rogers~
I found the featured t-shirt slogan online at Cafe Press. How to decide between bright yellow or a soft pink t-shirt with the slogan, "I love colonoscopies." Neither is on my Christmas wish list. It is a gift idea for that relative or ex who is a pain in the wazoo.
Having one of my periodic checkups with my GP in September, he wrote a script for a colonoscopy. I hadn't made the appointment as of Thanksgiving. They found me. I am trying to decide if locating me is due to their professional abilities as anal PIs or a desire to schedule me before the end of the year to slide under my insurance deductible. (With multiple diagnoses, I usually meet my deductible by January 2nd.)
After a consult, I will be directally scheduled. I am familiar with the slang "Hershey Highway," but Butterfinger comes to my mind along with Hitchcock's 1954 thriller Rear Window.
From listening to the experienced wisdom of friends, the worst part is the day before prep: a diet of clear liquids with a turbo colon cleansing. The challenge is to get the foul nuclear blast laxative past your gag reflex and beat Olympic track records to the toilet when the kick butt action begins. (I am wondering if it will work on drain clogs?)
The 'to do' list on this shirt is personally fitting, having three of the four "procedures," (the professional term for lack of dignity, invasion of privacy (?!!), and expensive.) in the final quarter of this year.
This is one doctor appointment I will not need to shave my legs. I hope I have a good report for the end of my saga.
Copyright © 2009
A humorous read on having a colonoscopy:
Dave Barry: A journey into my colon -- and yours
